- student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
- uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
- scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
- us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker. you have six months after graduating to start paying loans so you better pray to fucking god and jesus that you have a well-paying job by then or be prepared to be fucked up the ass without lube.
i am genuinely paranoid that everyone secretly hates me and thinks i am really annoying and ugly and is pretending to be my friend and it’s all part of some big joke
Then you are genuinely wasting your life
I do see myself as a criminal. I’ve killed somebody, and I’m a criminal. What I meant was that the inmates don’t understand my sense of humor. They don’t understand sarcasm or irony at all. The more sarcastic you become, the more they believe you. I was a porter once at Attica—a porter is a…